Seems like there have been a lot of detours in my life lately. Unfortunately they aren't the kind that you want, like stopping to smell the roses or enjoying a sunset or sunrise. They've been the mad rush, can't slow down, wish life would just be kind once in a while kinds of detours. Maybe some day.
I'm in a bad spot right now and I really don't know how to get out of it. I'm in about the worst depression I've had, excluding the one when my father died. I don't have any energy, I don't have any drive, and I really don't have any desire to do anything. I get up (late, I might add), go to work, come home, cook supper, do laundry, go to bed. I feel like crap 95% of the time. I've been having almost daily headaches again. I don't feel like exercising, or watching what I eat. And my darling husband is crushing my soul. All I've heard for the last four days is how great HE'S doing on his diet, how much weight he's lost, how the brand new pants we ordered in a smaller size are too big, how his BOSS is so proud of him, how he and his boss are having a contest to see who can run the fastest. How I need to "work thru it", "suck it up" and exercise even if I feel like crap, have a headache or a migraine. I'm sure I'm a big fat embarrassment to him. That he's ashamed to be seen with me. And I guess he should be. I am a big fat embarrassment, and I am lazy and unmotivated. But I don't need him to tell me that. I'm well aware of those facts.
There are days I just wish I could curl up in a corner and die.
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