They are rich who have friends. - Scandinavian Proverb

I have a little quote dispenser on my desk. This quote popped up last week, and I've been giving it a lot of thought lately. A good friend (my internet buddy) told me the other day that her boss used to tell her if she had one good friend, one true friend that she could call in the middle of the night, no matter what, that she was lucky. I've been thinking of this and wondering who I would call in the middle of the night if I needed something. Needed someone to help me in the middle of the night, to go to the Emergency Room with me, to bail me out of jail. I have "friends" but unfortunately my true friends live across the country. Not much chance of calling them to bail me out of jail or hold my hand at the hospital.

That got me to thinking about my funeral. Will any one attend? Would any one truly miss me? Oh, I know Stephen would, and if his family was alive, they would come to the funeral. But how many of my "friends" would come? Would anyone cry?

So I ask you, do YOU have a true friend? A friend you could call at 3am? A friend who would hold your hand when you were sick? A friend who would be there if you were dying?

They are rich who have friends. Yes, but I would say "They are rich who have TRUE friends".

fitday.com

A lady on a scrapping group posted about fitday.com. I went to check it out. Looks really useful. Has lots of tracking info. I'm going to try to use it for a few days and see how I like it.

Still feel like crap. May even go home early today. Altho Stephen is off work today (he works Saturday), so I don't know that it would be a good idea if I did go home early. I'm close to caught up at work, so I'm bored out of my mind today. Oh, no walking again today.

Scrapped some more last night. I'm hoping to start working on my album from my trip to NYC in 1990. I think I've got it all organized, so hopefully it will go together pretty quickly.


Monday ~

~ oatmeal breakfast bar
~ left over veggie fajitas
~ bowl lf chili
~ still eating those darn kisses :(

Monday

How about something positive from me for a change? I had a good time at the crop Saturday. I was worried about the cramped space and not knowing anyone, but it worked out fine. I was the third person there and managed to snag a table in the back so I could have my back against the wall. A lady came in while I was putting my stuff down and asked if I was alone and if she could join me. So that worked out nice. The 5 ladies in front of us were pretty rude tho. I'd always been told croppers were very friendly, loaned tools etc. Not these gals! The freebies were pretty good and I got 37 two page layouts finished. Not a bad day's work. Esp considering I was still sick. Still am today too.

The food was good at the crop. They served us bbq sandwiches with sides for lunch, a root beer float mid afternoon (that I skipped) and pizza for supper. I think if I get a chance to go to one of these again, I'll have to do it. I'll have to take a picture of all the goodies we got too and post that. I won a trivia contest and won a plastic SEI 12x12 album that matches their Fruit Stand line - and matched the gob of papers we got as goodies. And then the gal I shared a table with and I won second place which was a mini album in the "10 Things I love about"....line. Can't remember who makes that.

I had so hoped to get back to walking and getting back in the groove of things. No go. Maybe tomorrow.

Sunday ~

~ veggie fajitas
~ pepper jack chicken and pasta dish
~ Skinny Cow ice cream treat
~ handful of Hershey's kisses (I really have to stop this)

plus two pounds and nothing to say

Woke up feeling like crap. Stephen has given me the crud he's been sick with for a week. Didn't walk this morning. Stupid scales say I've gained two pounds. Nothing good to say, so I'm outta here.

~ Wednesday

~43 mins treadmill
~lf bagel
~salad (really getting sick of those babies)
~veggie fajitas
~Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich

Wednesday

Nothing positive to say, on any subject. Fed up, tired, ticked off. 'Nuff said 'bout that.

Tuesday ~
~ 35 mins treadmill
~ lf bagel
~ blizzard for lunch :(
~ spaghetti
~ WW ice cream sandwich

odds & ends

~ Grey's Anatomy - I am so furious with the writers. Furious that they killed off Denny, furious that they wrote that scene with Meredith and Sheppard. I hope I can calm down over the summer because right now, I'm so mad I wouldn't watch it if it was on tonight.

~ weight loss - what can I say? Non-existant. It's pathetic and I'm fed up and I'm just about ready to throw in the towel. I've been busting my rear and it's all been a big waste of time. Worse, I have to watch Stephen, who easily eats twice as much as I do, lose lb after lb. He's down some 23 lbs now. I'm happy for him, thrilled, but it makes my depression worse.

~ family - we had the lunch from Hades Sunday. Stephen's nephew spent the entire two hour ordeal CRYING his eyes out and no one, not a soul told him to straighten up, act like a 10 yr old, behave, nothing. Why was he crying? Because he was STARVING, had a sunburn (I've had worse burns from hot showers), didn't want to wait, and kept getting beat on his game boy game. Can we say brat? Can we say bust his butt? Can we say embarrassed and mortified and ashamed to the point I won't be able to show my face in the restaurant again? Worse, Stephen was just as fed up and swore he'd call his mother and tell her we weren't going out with them again until someone made his nephew behave. And of course now that he's calmed down, he keeps "forgetting" to call. I told him that's fine. But I'm not going to any functions that involve the devil-spawn nephew.

~ promises broken - I found some really old photos that needed touching up a few weeks ago. I scanned them in, asked Stephen to help me restore them (he's the expert) so I could scrap them, preferrably at the crop this weekend. I asked him three times, he kept saying, yes, I'll work on it later today/tonight/tomorrow. Sunday he promised he'd help ME do them so I'd know how in the future. Fine. He didn't help me. Monday he came home from work and promised again that he'd help me with them after supper. Again, he didn't help. I don't mind that he's not helping me, for whatever laim reason, what bothers me is he keeps saying he'll help me, promising he'll help me and never does. I always prefer a hurtful, disappointing truth over a flat out lie like this.

Saturday -

~ no treadmill, but an hour+ of yard work
~ can't remember what I ate

Sunday -

~ no treadmill
~ Demitries chicken, baked potato, salad
~ Skinny Cow ice cream cone thingy
~ fiesta chicken burrito
~ WW ice cream sandwich

Monday -
~ 32 mins treadmill
~ lf bagel
~ salad
~ chicken breast, two bites of turkey (both grilled), baked potato
~ WW ice cream sandwich
~ nearly ff popcorn

Saturday

Woke up with another stinking headache today. sigh. I should be out mowing the lawn, but Stephen hasn't offered to move to help me and I refuse to do it all by myself, esp with my head hurting. Haven't walked either today. I am preplanning a little. OH! Found out a lovely piece of info this morning. My darling dear husband LIED to me about his work schedule. When I signed up for the crop at the lss, he swore to me he was working that day. So I didn't feel the least bit quilty about signing up. This morning I asked him what he was going to do with his Monday off. He said "I'm not off Monday, I work the 27th." OMG!!! I'm livid with him! I told him there was no way I could get my money refunded for the crop and what the heck am I supposed to do now?! The ONLY reason I signed up was because he had to work so I wanted something to do while he was working. I don't want to have to skip my crop, but I know it's not right for me to go when he's not working and that he WILL be working the next weekend. I'm just sick about it.

Friday ~

~ 35 mins treadmill
~ roast beef sandwich, half order of fries
~ half a grilled chicken breast, one rib, baked potato
~ rice cake
~ handful of Hershey's kisses :(

why even bother?

It's been a really, really ugly week. I pushed myself, got up at 5am on Wed so I could walk before having to go to my Continuing Education class out of town, resisted the donuts at the meeting, didn't have a cookie at the afternoon break. Behaved myself. Woke up yesterday with a migraine and couldn't see straight. Didn't walk, stayed home from work, felt lousy all day and all night. Binged on chocolate. Bad. Really bad. I still managed to drag myself out of bed this morning and walk for 35 mins. Fat lot of good it will do me. I had walked 23 days straight up until yesterday. *sigh*

So at the CE class I was at Wed, I couldn't help but notice what the people were wearing. Why is it that people who are overweight think they can pour their bodies in to clothes that are two sizes too small and that it looks good? That we want to see their butt crack and the thong lines coming OUT of the butt crack? It was disgusting. I noticed 7 people in our class of 24 that were wearing clothes that were at least two sizes too small. Even if I never lose another lb, I swear I will never wear disgustingly tight clothes like that. Ick!

Tuesday ~
~ 40 mins treadmill
~ salad
~ rice cake
~ spaghetti
~ 14 glasses of water

Wed ~
~ 35 mins treadmill
~ zesty chicken bowl
~ half a grilled chicken breast, one pork rib, baked potato
~ 8 glasses of water (kind of hard to drink water while you're sitting in a classroom all day with limited breaks)

Thursday ~
~ no treadmill (migraine)
~ salad
~ hershey's kisses. Lots of hershey's kisses
~ grilled cheeseburger, tater tots

slump

I'm afraid I'm in a slump. Today has been really, really hard. I got up, just knowing that after a week of nothing the scale would move. Nadda, nothing, zilch. So, I didn't give up hope. I walked (40 mins) even tho I right knee was hurting so bad last night I couldn't sleep (it kept me up until 3am when I finally just passed out from exhaustion), showered, and got out the tape measure. I just KNEW I would have lost an inch or two somewhere. Not only did I not lose even a single inch, I GAINED TWO. I had thought I would at least lose a half inch in my thighs (which are starting to LOOK decent) or maybe my hips (in my rear end). But no, I GAIN TWO INCHES. How demoralizing.

And then Stephen has to tell me at lunch when I tell him why I'm so depressed that I'm not trying hard enough. That I have to BURN 3500 calories to lose a pound, not burn and consume less. He tells me I need to walk faster. I'm litterally walking as fast as I can without running/jogging. So then he tells me instead of 45 mins of walking I need to walk an hour and 45 mins every day. I asked him when exactly he thought I had time to do that. It was horrible. It was ugly. And now I want to just throw up my hands and say who gives a damn.

I have a meeting tomorrow so I don't know if I'll be able to get up early enough to walk or not. I need to leave the house by 6:45, so that means I'll have to get up at 5 if I want to get my walking in. Since I didn't sleep hardly at all last night, I'm not sure if I'll be able to get up or not.

Monday ~

~ 45 mins treadmill
~ roast beef sandwich, half an order of fries
~ small salad and a baked potato, dressed with FF stuff.
~ 16 glasses of water

Monday

Hard to believe another weekend has come and gone. I swear it seems like just last week it was Christmas. Didn't get as much done this weekend as I had hoped, but I did get a few things done at least.

13 years ago today I graduated from college. On the 12th I will have worked at my current job for 13 years. And on May 18th, it will be 16 years since I was in high school. I really, really am starting to feel old.

Sure would have loved to have slept in this morning, but got up anyway. Did 45 mins on the treadmill while watching Grey's. Wish it was quitting time.

Sunday ~

~ 21 mins treadmill
~ veggie fajitas
~ Ranch flavored rice cake
~ lf bowl of chili
~ lf popcorn

weekend review

Saturday I preplanned some more for the crop and played with my new-to-me MP3 player. I bought it off ebay so I could have it for the crop, just in case. I have it loaded with songs and can't wait to take a walk in the park to try it out. I also did 37 mins on the treadmill.

Today I tried to walk again but about 4 mins in, my head started killing me. I pushed on but finally gave up at 21 mins. My head has been killing me for the last 6 hours. I know it's a migraine, but I refuse to give in to it. I took some meds, ran out to buy a second SD card for my MP3 player (512megs at Office Depot for $25, talk about a steal), two pairs of Nikes (also on sale!) and a sheet of paper and two embellies for two layouts that I've got preplanned but still needed something. Now I'm waiting for my hair color to set - going Strawberry Blonde. I decided I'm tired of migraines stopping me. I'm going to feel miserable laying on the couch or in bed, so I may as well do something I want to do, even if I feel miserable doing it.

I also have enough proofs of purchase for the Skinny Cow treat Scrapbook organizer. Bummed that it won't get here in time for my crop. But I found a "sewing" tin that looks like a plumber's tool kit that I'm going to try to dress up for it. Would love to make them to sell, but the tin was almost $7 by itself. Not sure how well it would go over, so I don't know if I dare to try to make one up to sell and then get stuck with it.

Gotta run, time to rinse my hair!

Friday -

~ 45 mins treadmill
~ grilled chicken sandwich, third of an order of fries
~ digorno pizza
~ 12 glasses of water

Saturday -
~ 37 mins treadmill
~ eggbeaters scrambled eggs, bacon, wheat toast, hashbrowns
~ chili rubbed chicken

sobering thoughts

~ It takes a deficit of 3500 calories to burn/lose 1 pound of fat. Since I have 55 lbs to lose, that's 192,500 calories I have to burn.

~ 55 lbs is the weight of an EIGHT YEAR OLD BOY.

~ It takes roughly 2000 calories a day to maintain 195 lbs if you are sedentary.

~ Assuming a 1200 calorie diet with approximately 250 calories burned in exercise, I should be losing one pound every 3 to 4 days.

~ At 3 to 4 days to lose a pound, it will take approximately 220 days, or seven and a third months, or Christmas time.

~ I have a BMI of 33.88 - acceptable range is 20-25.

~ Even if I get down to 140 lbs, my BMI would still be 24.32!

~ Ideally, I should weigh 120-125.

So, now that we're all thoroughly depressed, the other stuff. (45 mins treadmill this morning. Makes for 18 straight days - I think that's right, 18?)

Thursday ~

~ 45 mins treadmill
~ lf bagel
~ lf bowl of chili
~ Digorno deep dish pizza with wheat chips (double, no triple shame on me!)
~ 12 glasses of water

Thursday

Just another Thursday here. I feel like I'm falling in to a rut. Probably the dreary weather talking. I know habits are a good thing, but ruts aren't so good. I know I'm just getting started here, but I feel worn out already.

I checked with the scrapbook store that's hosting the crop on the 20th to see what the space situation would be. I asked them if I could bring my Navigator tote or if it would be too crowded. The gal told me that I could bring it and should be fine, but they planned on having at least three people, maybe more, per table. Yikes! That's so not going to go over well with my space issues. I mean, it's all I can do to sit next to a stranger in a theater for two hours, never mind TWO strangers for TWELVE hours. Stephen was sweet about it last night. He told me that he'd call me 15 mins in to the crop and if I thought I was going to panic and not make it, he'd come get me and make an excuse of an emergency. I hope I don't end up having a panic attack, that would be so embarrassing.

Did 45 on the treadmill this morning. That REALLY feels like a rut.

Wednesday ~

~ 40 mins treadmill
~ salad
~ bowl lf chili
~ 10 glasses of water (should have had more, but I had a diet coke with supper instead of water)

Wednesday

I was so happy to see the scale was still at 195 this morning. I was so afraid I would get up and it would be back up to 200. So, no gain is a good thing! :)

Still fighting the stupid headaches and migraines.

This layout is made from elements/papers from Atomic Cupcake. The quote is one I found on Rhonda Ferrar's blog. I couldn't make her picture large enough to see who to credit the actual quote from, so I'll credit Rhonda and leave it at that.

I did 40 mins on the treadmill this morning. Wanted to do 45, but the power went off and kept blinking. So I used that as an excuse and called 40 as done.

Tuesday ~

~ 45 mins treadmill
~ lf bagel
~ salad
~ individual microwave digorno pizza with small handful of wheat chips
~ 15 glasses of water

down 3!!

The rest of my day may end up in the gutter, but it started off on a great note. I got up and weighed before getting on the treadmill (45 mins) and I was thrilled to see I'm down 3 lbs! What a great surprise that was!

Last night was pretty much a bust. I came home and started to preheat the oven for supper. Stephen came home and informed me his trainer told him that he's eating too many calories and that he could only have two bagels for supper, so not to bother cooking. Okay. Great. Now why is it that when I told him he should only be eating 2000-2200 calories a day, he wouldn't believe me but when his trainer told him the same thing, he'll listen to him? Duh Stephen! He told me his trainer told him no more than 2200, but Stephen told him he would do 2500. Must be nice. If I eat more than 1000-1100, I gain weight! So, I warmed up a bowl of lf chili and that was that. I picked out two Becky Higgins sketch layouts for some photos I had but that was it. My head was killing me by then, so getting anything else done wasn't going to happen. And of course when I tried to get to sleep, my head was hurting too bad to sleep. And naturally I have a headache already this morning. *sigh*

But at least I'm down to 195! :)

Monday ~

~ 42 mins treadmill
~ salad
~ lf bowl of chili
~ one Hershey's kiss
~ 10 glasses of water

Monday's should be outlawed

I hate Monday's. I hate the first day back at work, the prospect that it will be 5 whole days before I can sleep in and do something I want to do for more than a half hour. I wish I could convince my bosses to let me go to four 10 hr days. I know they'd never go for it, but it sure would be nice. I could come in at 7, work thru lunch, leave at 5 and have Monday's off. Ah to dream.

I watched Grey's this morning while I walked. I overslept and was afraid I couldn't get it in before I had to get in the shower to get to work. I squeezed it in tho, along with 42 mins of walking. Someone commented that they couldn't walk as long as I do because they would be bored. If I don't have a tv show saved on tivo, I get bored too. I've also flipped thru a magazine or read a book if I don't have something to watch. No way I could just walk without something to distract my brain.

I'm going to have to tighten up. I splurged and had a SkinnyCow ice cream treat yesterday - 2.5 g of fat and 150 calories. This morning I had gained a half a lb. Not how I wanted to start the new month. *sigh*

Sunday ~

~ 50 mins treadmill
~ veggie fajitas and a few wheat chips
~ chicken tenders and steak fries, both baked in the oven
~ Skinny Cow ice cream treat (which tasted very, very good)