Thursday review

I'm hoping I've gotten back on track. For two days now the scale has been back down those two lbs I had gained back. So I'm still needing 4 lbs by the 30th to make my mini goal. Not looking good.

I did 40 mins on the treadmill this morning. Did 33 yesterday and 32 Tuesday. We worked in the yard some more yesterday, put out a microscopic garden. I hope we have at least a few tomatoes after all that work. Stephen is back at work so I've had a really lazy day.

This is a very plain layout. But I'm proud of it because I made the paper and tag for this one. I used a brush I had downloaded and altered it to make the embossed paw print. I wish I had more talent when it comes to design.

Tuesday -

~ 32 mins on treadmill
~ 2 pancakes & 2 hashbrowns
~ serving of chili rubbed chicken (frozen meal - and it was delish!)

Wednesday -

~ 33 mins on treadmill
~ breakfast (I made scrambled eggs with egg beaters, bacon and hashbrowns. Shame!)
~ veggie fajitas
~ small blizzard

Catch up

Been busy this weekend. Saturday we got up and worked in the yard for four hours. I was totally and completely beat. Sunday we went out to eat with the inlaws and it was just as bad as I feared. Stephen's nephew was a brat, as usual. And my sister in law showed up with dyed red hair. I don't know why, but it really ticked me off - I'm a natural red head and I'm now thinking of bleaching my hair blonde! Monday we painted the living room - chocolate - and painted the trim to be put up. I didn't walk any of those three days. Shame on me. But after yard work and standing and painting all day, I was too sore to move. I've tried to be good on food but Saturday wasn't so good. Today is Stephen's last day off, so we're going to put the trim up and then just take it easy. Assuming he gets up at some point today.

This layout was a BOM challenge. The papers, ribbon and button are from Amy -http://digitallydesigned.blogspot.com/ -and the tag is from Lauren Bavin.

Friday -

~ 33 mins on treadmill
~ SMALL plate of Chinese food
~ lf chicken bean roll

Saturday -

~ cheeseburger and tots
~ spaghetti
~ small turtlette blizzard :(

Sunday -

~ Dimitri's chicken (lunch out with inlaws)
~ homemade pizza
~ oatmeal bar

Monday -

~ oatmeal bar
~ lf chicken bean roll
~ mini frozen pizza with chips

Gotta get back on track. No way I'm going to make my mini goal if I keep this up. :(

PLUS two pounds :(

Imagine my horror and dismay when I discovered I had gained two pounds this morning. I'm crushed. I've been doing so good, watching what I eat, trying to increase my water, and I gain back two lbs. And it can't be muscle, I haven't been at it long enough. So I guess I'm going to have to cut back even further on my food. I'm so not looking forward to being hungry all the time. *sigh* Words cannot express how demoralized and disheartened I am.

Here's a weight loss layout. The quote is from Rhonda Ferra's 21 day challenge - http://rhonnafarrer.typepad.com/dreamy/ and the papers are from Atomic Cupcake - http://atomiccupcake.com/.


I did 33 mins on the treadmill this morning. I would have walked longer but I had to run some errands before work.

Thursday

~ 35 mins on the treadmill
~ tuna sandwhich and Wheat Sun Chips
~ two lf chicken bean rolls

another one bites the dust!

At the risk of jinxing myself, I stepped on the scales this morning. I know I shouldn't weigh myself more than once a week. But if I start gaining weight, I want to know immediately so I can start cutting back on my food. So I was thrilled to see I was down another pound this morning. That leaves three to my mini goal. Wait, I just reread my mini goal, and it's conflicted. It says UNDER 200, yet lists the wrong number of lbs to GET to under 200. So three lbs will get me TO 200, so I hope to lose four lbs before the end of the month.

Stephen is really dedicated to working out. He's gone every afternoon after work to the gym for 4 1/2 weeks now. I'm very proud of him. He doesn't go on the weekends, but he's up to an hour of cardio work each day now. I feel like a slouch with my lousy 35 mins this morning. But until I can start getting up when he gets up, that's about all I have time for.

I found a yogart I can tolerate. I don't love it, but it's okay. It's called Orange Cream, and is supposed to taste like an Orange Cream ice cream. It doesn't, but I can choke it down. The label said "aids in weight loss". How's that? Just another gimic to sell yogart?

Wednesday ~

~ 32 mins on the treadmill
~ cup of yogart
~ cheeseburger and tater tots for lunch
~ grilled chicken breast, two bites of turkey and a baked potato
~ 3 mini cadbury eggs (these are gone now too, yeah!)

gray Wednesday

Another dreary day here. I can't wait for summer and nice weather. All these clouds are depressing.

About a week ago, we were in line in Wal-Mart. A lady was in front of us with what I assume was her daughter and the daughter's two boys. (The boys called the younger woman mom) I was appalled by what the younger woman was wearing. Her jeans were so low on her hips that you could see too much. And while she was skinny, she had horrible stretchmarks all across her hips and stomach. Her shirt barely covered her bra. Now tell me, why does someone think that ANYONE wants to see her scarred skin?! Heck, why does she think anyone would want to see that much skin at Wal-Mart?! She was clearly dressed to be going out to a bar or a club, which our small town doesn't have. Stephen was embarrassed and took his glasses off so he wouldn't have to see her flaunt herself like that. Heaven help me if we ever have a child because there is NO WAY I will allow them to dress like that as long as I'm paying the bills.

I went home early yesterday with my migraine. I finally called it quits and gave up. My head finally quit hurting and I was able to get some sleep last night. I got up and did 32 mins on the treadmill. I think I was half asleep while I was walking.

Tuesday ~

~ 33 mins on the treadmill
~ lf bagel
~ salad for lunch
~ spaghetti for supper
~ handful of sweet tarts (which are gone! Yeah! No more temptation!)

Another pound gone!

Imagine my surprise when I stepped on the scales this morning and had lost another pound. After the lack of walking and poor food choices, I was stunned to see I'm now down a total of 6 lbs. This leaves me 4 to lose for my mini goal.

I walked for 33 mins this morning, even tho I didn't feel like it. I woke up with a headache and now, I'm sorry to say, it's looking more and more like a migraine. Ugh!

Busy day today at work. I have a ton of regular stuff to do plus a mass mailing that has to be finished before I leave for vacation. Hard to concentrate on work when your head is pounding like a drum.

Monday ~

~ no treadmill :(
~ Quaker oats breakfast bar
~ salad for lunch
~ grilled chicken breast and two bites of grilled turkey, baked potato
~ handful of those sweet tarts again. :(

sunny Monday

It's Monday, again. *sigh*

I had a pretty busy weekend. Friday night was stormy. Again. The worst of it missed us. Stephen got called in to work Friday night. They had a lightning strike and the computers were down. The guy whose job it is to be on call when the boss is out of town wouldn't do squat to fix the problem. Big surprise there.

Stephen had to work Saturday. I got up, did 33 mins on the treadmill. I did a very slow "jog" for 2 mins three times during that 33 mins. Then I cleaned the house. I got cleaned up, rented a movie and enjoyed the rest of my afternoon.

Sunday I didn't walk. I should have. Stephen put his second curio together in the game room and I finished a stupid book that someone had recommended to me. It was terrible. I cleaned up the grill, and once Stephen was done with the curio, he grilled for us. We have enough leftovers for the whole week. I love that.

Didn't walk this morning either. The weather is changing, again, and my sinuses were full and hurting. I'm never going to lose the weight this way. *double sigh*

Saturday ~

~ 33 mins on the treadmill
~ lf bagle
~ chicken fajitas

Sunday ~

~ veggie fajitas
~ small chicken breast, small rib, two bites of turkey and a small baked potato
~ no treadmill :(

TGIF!

Thank goodness it's Friday! It's sad, but I live for Fridays. Wishing my life away, a week at a time.

I was bad this morning. I didn't get up and walk. Even tho I went to bed early, I was so darn tired. My head was hurting (I think it's the nasty, stormy weather) so I didn't force myself to get up. I should have, really, esp since I was so bad on the food yesterday. But I did go ahead and step on the scales, largely to see if I was still down my original 4 lbs, and I'm down one more lb to 5 total. So now I only have 5 to go to reach my mini goal. I'm going to try my best to walk when I get home tonight, but no promises.

No real plans for the weekend. I hope to clean the house and maybe work on my scrapping a little. It's supposed to clear off some time tomorrow, but I think it will still be too wet to mow the yard. It's looking really nasty and needs a good clip.

Thursday ~

~ lf bagel
~ small heath blizzard (bad Sussann!!)
~ bowl of soup
~ handful of sweet tart bunnies and chickens and ducks (double bad!!)

mini goal #1

Okay, so I've thought about this for a while this morning. I think I've settled on a first mini goal. So here goes:

By April 30th - get under 200 lbs. This will give me 24 days to lose 6 lbs. That's a little less than 2 lbs a week. I'd like to think I can do it quicker than this, but I don't want to be unrealistic.

I also need to increase my water consumption. So by April 30th, I need to be up to 10 glasses of water a day. 80 oz. I can do that, right?

April Showers....

I woke up to a gentle sprinkle hitting the window this morning. It's so hard for me to get up when it's raining like that. I laid there, kept thinking just five more minutes. It's been raining off and on all morning - the good kind of rain, the nurishing rain that makes everything so lush and green this time of year.

I was thinking last night, I totally love the way we rearranged the furniture upstairs this weekend. What was once a cramped living room is open and inviting. I think a lot of it has to do with taking down the curtains in that room. We have a huge picture window in addition to a regular window in that room. I loved the curtains and rods that were in there - Stephen hated them, naturally. So I took them down to wash this weekend and the next thing I knew, he had taken the rods and hardware down off the walls! So I couldn't put the curtains back up if I wanted to. But shhhh, don't tell, I don't want to! I love how light the room is now, how open. It's amazing how subtracting from a room can make things look so much better. Now to get some fresh paint on those walls. We painted Tender Taupe in that room in 2000. I thought I was being so bold with that color. I've since discovered color on walls is a good thing, and that it won't run off potential buyers. So we're going to go with a brown in that room. Something rich and inviting. While I hate painting with a passion, I can't wait to get it done.

I did 30 mins on the treadmill this morning. A friend sent me some exercises to try for my hip. Thank you Cindy! I'm hoping they will help and I can increase my time walking soon. Such a long road ahead of me. Sometimes it seems impossible. I think I need to set mini goals to keep from losing perspective. I'll need to do some thinking on that.

Wednesday ~

~ lf bagel
~ salad for lunch
~ two lf chicken bean rolls

HHD!

Wendesday. Halfway thru the week. Only 7 1/2 more work days until I'm on vacation. I'm SOOOO ready for a vacation. Seems like forever since I was off in November last year.

I managed 30 mins on the treadmill this morning. My hips were feeling better for the most part. I have no idea what's up with that. Makes zero sense to me.

I wasn't sure if I should post this, I'm half afraid of jinxing myself, but I have to tell someone. And since Stephen has already lost TEN pounds, I can't tell him. I weighed yesterday and again this morning, to be sure. I've lost four pounds. I know it's not even a drop in the bucket, but after being so disheartened at not losing any at all, this is a huge boost for me. I just did the math. It's 5% of what I want to lose. *sigh* At least those stupid scales moved, right?

Tuesday ~
~ 24 mins on the treadmill
~ lf bagel
~ a cheese ravioli lean cuisine meal
~ wheat spaghetti for supper
~ and as a treat, 3 mini cadbury eggs.

Tuesday

Well, I got back on the treadmill this morning. I didn’t think I was going to make it, but I finally dragged myself out of bed (15 mins later than I SHOULD have gotten up) and did 24 mins on the treadmill. I don’t know if I could have done more even if I had gotten up earlier. My GOOD hip is now hurting worse than my bad hip. I HAVE to get this weight off some way, some how before it kills me.

Last night was pretty lazy. I was too tired to walk when I got home, so I made burgers on the Foreman grill and we watched a dvd. I had hoped to work on a layout, either digital or traditional, but I just didn’t get to it. *sigh*

Monday ~

~ no treadmill :(

~ salad for lunch

~ cheeseburger and tater tots for supper

just another Monday

I am depressed. Couldn't get up this morning. The time change and waking up at 4:30 Sunday really has hurt me. I should have walked this morning, but I just couldn't get out of bed. And I REALLY should have walked because I stepped on the stupid scales. I haven't lost an ounce! I'm so sad. I was afraid I was going to have to starve myself to make this work, but I'm just not there yet. *sigh*

We had some really high winds and thunderstorms yesterday and last night. Thankfully we didn't have any damage.

Sunday -

~ no treadmill. :(
~ cold pizza for lunch
~ wheat chips for a snack
~ two LF chicken bean rolls :(

Man, just even writing that is depressing. I swear some days life just sucks.

worn out & time change

That's it. I'm frazzled. Worn out. Tee-totally. I got up about 8 yesterday and as soon as Stephen got up, we started working. Had a super quick breakfast and took the old couch to the dump. Thankfully we'd loaded it the night before - I say we, but it was actually Stephen and a friend from work. Stephen and I were struggling to get the thing in the truck (it was so heavy - it was 8 feet long with a recliner in each end) when one of his friends from work drove by. Thank heaven's he did, or we'd still be struggling with it. So we dumped that, came home, loaded up some junk, an empty box, some brush, an old computer case and ran back to the dump. Came home, moved the love seat from upstairs to down. Moved the couch and loveseat (BOTH with recliners!) upstairs. Moved the recliners. Started rearranging the furniture in the upstairs living room. Got it mostly the way we want it. Put a video cabinet together. Just waiting for Stephen to wire everything back up. We want to paint in that room, but it will have to wait til I'm off on vacation. We also went to Lowe's and priced those window shutter treatments. About $800 for the two windows in that room. Ouch!! For some reason I will never understand Stephen hates the curtains and rods that are in that room. Oh well. Finally called it quits about 8pm last night. Was bad, we had pizza for supper. But at we didn't eat lunch, so at least it was better than it could have been. I didn't have the energy to walk. Not sure if I will today or not. I woke up at 4:30 and couldn't get back to sleep. So I'm up and at it, with only 4 1/2 hrs of sleep. LOVE that it will be daylight still once I get home from work. HATE getting up in the dark tho. Oh well.

Happy Sunday!

Friday -
~32 mins on the treadmill
~bagel for breakfast
~cup of Mexican veggie soup and half a pimento cheese sandwich, 4 or 5 potato chips
~two low fat chicken bean rolls (I know, shame on me!!)


Saturday -
~Breakfast burrito from Sonic
~one french toast stick
~pizza for supper, no lunch.
~no treadmill :( {BUT I was on my feet moving for about 12 hrs straight}

Thanks, and a wet Friday

but still a Friday! :)

First, the thanks. I did a very, very small favor for a friend a few weeks back. She thanked me, I told her I was more than happy to do it, and never gave it a second thought. I came home one night this week to a package from her. She'd sent me a thank you card and some lovely goodies. It was so unnecessary and so totally unexpected, but it totally made my day. How sweet that she thought enough of the tiny favor I did her to do that in return for me.

So, it's raining here. Blah! I got up this morning and did 32 mins on the treadmill. My hip is hurting already. Guess I over did it. I had hoped that since I was feeling better I was past that. Guess again. But I did it, I walked every week day this week. I don't plan on walking tomorrow. I hope to do some work in the yard and rearranging of furniture in the house instead. We'll see if any of it gets done.

just a quick WooHoo!

I was dog tired when I got home from work but I forced myself to do 28 mins on the treadmill. Yeah!!

~ 28 mins on treadmill
~ low fat chicken bean roll for lunch
~ bowl of super noodle casserole for supper

:)

should have posted Wednesday

but it was a long, long day. By the time I got home from class I was too tired to post. I got up at 5:30. Managed to walk on the treadmill and still get to my class on time. Considering I had to eat fast food, I think I managed to do pretty good.

One of the ladies in the class hurt my feelings. Big surprise there. She asked me when my baby was due. Considering I had to sit behind the fat hag (yes, she was very over weight too!) the rest of the day, I bit my tongue and just said, oh I'm not pregnant and changed the subject. Why in heaven's name do people think it's okay to ask questions like that?! Maybe I should have countered with "when is your baby due you fat witch?" But in the spirit of killing her with kindness, I didn't say a word. *sigh*

Soooo, Tuesday's day ended up like this:

~ 25 mins on the treadmill
~ a bagel for breakfast
~ a salad for lunch
~ a low fat chicken bean roll for supper
~ four wheat crackers with reduced fat peanut butter

Then Wednesday:

~ 25 mins on the treadmill
~ a bagel for breakfast
~ a roast beef and cheddar sandwich with a few fries for lunch
~ a chocolate chip cookie (they had them in the seminar room, and I know I should have resisted!)
~ a low fat chicken bean roll for supper with a small serving of wheat Sunchips
~ two wheat crackers with reduced fat peanut butter

I should have walked this morning but I woke up with a headache and just couldn't force myself out of bed. Maybe I can walk when I get home from work. Heaven knows I need to!

Tuesday, blue Tuesday

I'm sorry to say my blue mood is persisting. I can't seem to shake it. Maybe today will be a better day, right? Last night didn't help any. Stephen decided he wanted to watch Family Guy again. I left the room.

I walked on the treadmill yesterday and again this morning. I'm hoping and praying I can get in to some sort of routine, do something to get moving. I don't know if I'll be able to get up early enough tomorrow to walk before work. I have to leave the house by 6:40 because I have a meeting out of town tomorrow all day. That means I'd need to get up at 5:30 to walk, and I don't know if I can do that.

Here's how yesterday broke down:

~ 25 mins on the treadmill
~ a low fat brown sugar cinnamon bagel for breakfast
~ a salad for lunch
~ spaghetti for supper

Not too bad, considering. I even managed to just drink water and diet sodas, so that was a good thing. We'll see how today goes. I know tomorrow I will be bad with the food because I have to eat on the road. They only give us 45 mins for lunch, so that limits where I can eat - fast food.

Hurt feelings

I debated about blogging this, but maybe it will help me feel better about what happened. I know I'm being silly, but words and actions hurt, and I'm only human and can't help that Stephen hurt me.

He is a big cartoon fan, watches the Simpsons and Family Guy religiously, among other shows. Family Guy last night was about the wife gaining weight. They had a pregnancy scare, and the wife told the husband he had to get a vasectomy. So the husband lost interest in sex and the wife felt neglected and turned to food. So as the wife got fatter, the husband began insulting her. Really ugly, hateful stuff. Stephen laughed hysterically at it. Thought it was the funniest thing in the world. And it hurt my feelings.

I am fat. Obese. Whatever you want to call it, I'm it. I know I'm fat, but I also know I'm weak. I lost a bunch of weight in 1999, only to gain every single pound and then some back after my father died. Now Stephen isn't skinny either. He has joined a gym to try to lose his weight just recently. So he's aware he's not skinny either. So why did I feel that every time he laughed, he was laughing at me? That he was seeing ME, that he was thinking of our marriage and how I'm not attractive any more. That he wished I would lose weight so he woulndn't be ashamed of me. I know if I try to talk to him about it, he'll deny it and tell me I'm being overly sensative. And I'm sure I am being overly sensative. But he hurt my feelings and I know he'll never admit he might have been inconsiderate in what he did.

So now here I sit, wallowing in self pity, upset with my husband, bitter because I'm so weak and lazy. Crushed to think that Stephen might be thinking those horrible things about me, and worse, knowing they're true. What a way to start a week....

Layout with Amy's Rakscrap freebie

Here's a layout using Amy's Rakscrap freebie - you can see Amy's awesome work at http://digitallydesigned.blogspot.com/. I'm not sure I did her fabulous kit justice with my layout, but I really enjoyed using it.

Kind of a lazy day weekend. I woke up Saturday morning with my hip hurting pretty bad. I had to get up and put the heat pad on it. We didn't make it to the dump to throw away the couch. Just too darn tired and Stephen's back hurt.

We had GC's to Applebee's, so we ate a late lunch/early supper. Yummy.

Today was another lazy day. Watched a dvd and now I'm waiting on supper to finish. I'm making Super Noodle Casserole. Pretty tasty. Plus I love anything that gives me leftovers for the week. I have to go to a continuing education class this week, so it will be nice to not have to worry about supper since I'll probably get home late.